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Be Thou My Vision

first, something random.
best quotes from last night::
Steve Loych: “I think you’re getting a little too saucy for me, Dave.”
Jordan: “Wait, why are we throwing forks at each other’s crotches?”

listening to::
Dr. Thrasher...he's great. In my Biblical Revelation class, were talking about how God preordains all events and how that idea relates to the war with Iraq.

and now::
well... i'm changing my major. i'm going to leave Engineering and move to Christian Thought. it's almost official. i talked to my parents on my birthday. that was the only thing i was really worried about. i expected to encounter some resistance, but everybody was very supportive. what a blessing it is to have parents that would rather me have a career that i would enjoy and (i believe God has showed me) one that i would be better suited to serve Him through it than one that would pay much better.

so, the funny thing is that i suppose i started to write this last Monday in Bib Rev... i don't remember starting this post, and it appears that i didn't remember to finish it. ...hmm...

well, i'll try to finish what i was saying.
i'm changing to Christian Thought. this decision was a fairly lengthy process for me.
i've been feeling for the entirity of this semester that Engineering just wasn't for me. people tried to tell me that last semester, but i didn't believe them. well...i think i did believe them, but i was being stubborn for some reason.
just last week i realized something. in making my decision of what college to attend, i sought God's will. i prayed with my family, and God showed me that Grove City College was where He wanted me. on the other hand, i never even considered what major i should take on, or what career i should pursue.

i had always felt that some sort of Engineering was what i should do, because i've always enjoyed figuring out how stuff works, constructing, drawing--things like that. i never actually considered what Engineering involved. for that reason, i'm glad for my Intro to Engineering class (which i dropped last week). i never thought i would appreciate anything from that class, because it's easily the most useless waste of my time (trust me, everyone that take that class agrees with me). the only thing that class showed me was how much i don't want to end up in engineering. from the videos we watched and the book (the very few chapters were of any use), i saw what engineers actually do. the things that these people work at every day just doesn't appeal to me.

so, i began to seek God and His vision for my life.
through the last two months i started asking God where i needed to be with Him. i realize that God has a master plan for my life. His plan is immaculate, and i need to be in on it.
the only thing i was getting from God at first was that i was in the wrong career pathway, and that i needed to do something else. after i accepted that, i went through a period of confusion and searching. i didn't really tell anybody about this. after a few weeks of just sitting where i was and wondering what other pathways i could follow, i conceded and decided to let God decide. the thing is that God had already decided for me, even before i was born (just as he does for every person), and i just needed to let Him show me what he had in store for my life.
that took a while. in the past month i've grown to love going to the chapel about an hour before the service and just being quiet with God. through prayer, scripture, circumstances, and church (the ways we experience God's specific revelations--the only thing i remember from when i worked through Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby), i feel like God has called me to fulltime ministry.
of course, all Christians are called to be ministers 24/7 in that we are all to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the nations, and to live our lives so that others see Christ in us. but i believe that God is calling me to ministry as a fulltime career. i think that's pretty exciting.

now, i don't exactly know what God wants me to do yet... but i trust that He'll reveal that to me in His own time.
i'm feeling that i should go into youth/worship ministry... i've always helped out in my youth group at church. i think that i've always had a heart for the youth, and that i've been somewhat equiped in the area of youth ministry. also, i picked up the guitar very quickly since i started playing in November. i feel like God has gifted me in this aspect, and that i should use that gift for His purpose. i've also always had a heart for worship.
i may learn toward these areas, yet i don't want to limit myself by making a decision now. i should say that i don't want to limit God--or i don't want to limit the way that God will work through me. He could call me to be a pastor or missionary, or something else. He we will show me in His time.
i certainly appreciate all those that knew i was seeking God's will for my life and were praying for me in that respect. i'd also appreciate continued prayer in this area of my life. i really want to do what God wants me to do.

on a totally different note::
and really now::
i'm behind. as usual. i just took the physics quiz, joel, matt, and dave are working on physics. i don't have the time because i waited until now to start my Bib Rev outline. this week it's Matthew 22-28 and John 1-21. that's a lot to do in the time i have. that is, i'd like to get some sleep before i have to turn it in at 8am tomorrow. of course, i usually do this. i always put it off. but i don't usually post in my blog while i should be working on my outline. Jordan tempts me (not intentionally, of course) to post on my blog. he's always posting on his, and i can always think of something to put her, it's just that i don't have the time i wish i had.

question::
why don't i have the time?
answer::
i have it, i just don't use it right.
the real question::
why can't i use it right?
the real answer::
i dunno. i think that in some sadistic way, i enjoy the pressure of low grades and a moutain of work to do.